What Did Lupus Take Away?

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For about 6 months I have been seeing a therapist to help cope with the changes that lupus brings. I am able to be raw and queen out freely in her office. Plus, fabulous people have therapists. I recommend this to anyone! My therapist has helped me not only to cope with lupus but to accept it. Before the end of 2011, I sat down with my therapist. After an hour of me queening out, she wrapped up the session by giving me “homework” in a form of a question to ponder for our next session. She acknowledged that I was angry, frustrated and upset to have such a disease at a somewhat young age, then she asked me: “What did lupus take away from you? I want you to make a list of these things and grieve the lost. ”

So, here are 10 things from my list that lupus took away from me:

1. The sun. I miss being tan (I am latin!), the beach adventures, poolside with a drink and laughing at men get silly drunk trying to impress the women in bikinis
2. My energy. I used to be able to conquer it all. My day would consist of me going to work for 10 hours, have dinner and drinks with friends, grad school work, and then eventually sleep. I used to say, “I will sleep when I am dead”. I never used to say, “I am sorry but I am going to have to pass because I am too fudging tired.” Now I have a bed-time equivalent to that of an 80 year-old.
3. Physical activities: Dancing, walking up stairs, going to the park with my dogs, late-night Guitar Hero, typing without having to rub my hands after every other keystroke, standing for long periods, sitting for long periods, laying down for long periods…
4. High heels.
5. Ability to multi-task, ability to focus, ability to think clearly. My CNS inflammation and lupus fog… enough said.
6. Strutting. I had a natural strut … a diva’s strut that demanded attention.
7. My hair.
8. Weekends filled with crazy festivities and after hours
9. Social life
10. My independence- to depend on so many to help me through the day.

So, fans let’s grieve our lost together. What is on your list?

Don’t worry fans- of course, during my next session my therapist asked me to make a list of the things that lupus gave me. Stay tuned- you don’t want miss out!

Posted from the Diva on the road