The real victim: Me… because I don’t have the energy to burn it off.
Bottom line: Steroids give me the craziest cravings.
Posted from the Diva on the road or (most likely) in bed.
Diva’s Energy Crisis Log– Day 10.
I am going to be blatantly honest. For the past week, I have been in what I am calling a “Lupus Funk“. You may have experienced this before; it is that feeling of annoying-achy all-over pain with a dash of dull headache pain and sufferings of fatigue and fogginess (we all know how difficult thinking and focusing can be while in the state of the lupus fog). Blinking even hurts. Motivation is killed by the lupus funk. Overall, this funk makes you want to just stay in bed and avoid any human contact (dogs seems to be bearable).
On the days that I had to force myself to work, I pinched my nose and swallowed the GNC Women’s Ultra Mega Energy and Metabolism multivitamin with hopes that they would get me through the day of dealing with my crazy boss. Although I left work still thinking my boss was crazy, the pills were able to give me that energy boost to survive the work day even in the state of my lupus funk. In other words, they make dealing with the day easier when in such a crappy state, but they do not alleviate the funk symptoms. I still feel funky, but at least the pills give me the energy to get out of bed and conquer the tasks at-hand.
My biggest complaint about the pills is the SMELL! Yes, I am being dramatic. This smell has restrained me from taking my daily-twos on a daily basis. Everytime I open that bottle, I regress to a child resisting to take that horrible-tasting cough syrup (…remember those days??). However, I do notice a difference in the days that start with smelly pills versus those that don’t. The main difference is that more shit gets done when I take the pills (no surprise there). So all I need is somethng to motivate me to take them every day…
I am still not 100% obsessed with this pills just yet. I will continue to take these (on a daily basis) and report to you.
Posted from the Diva on the road
It is Day 2. So, here’s a short-and-sweet update on my progress to resolving my energy crisis. These horse-pills have joined my morning pill-swallowing routine. I take 2 of these a day (recommended dose):
1. Pills smell FUUUUUNKY. The funk punches me in the face as soon as I open the bottle. I would rather be in a room filled with dirty baby diapers covered in sewage (Yes, the smell is that bad.).
2. These pills taste as funky as they smell and induce my gag reflexes (go ahead and insert your dirty joke here).
3. Energy boost is noticeable. Yesterday was my first work-day with these smelly pills in my sysyem. I arrived to a desk covered in multiple projects that had to be done by that day. While reviewing my task list, I thought it would be easier to run a marathon in heels while torturing myself to the music of One Direction and Taylor Swift. Somehow, I came out as a winner and finished all my tasks– AND still had enough energy to stay out of bed until 10pm to work on my personal projects!! Either I was lucky or these pills actually work. But I’m not drawing any conclusions just yet. It is only Day 2.
Stay tune and stay FABULOUS.
Posted from the Diva on the road
There is not ONE pill for lupus; there are many! Rarely will you find two lupus patients that share the exact same drug regimen, Why? Because we do not share the same symptoms. Lupus is a complex disease. Many of the drugs we are prescribed are the same drugs that are prescribed for other disease, including arthritis, cancer, and etc. Major case in point: being prescribed Plaquenil — an ANTI-MALARIA drug!
I came across this article from Arthritis Today that gives a great description of the popular drugs prescribed to control lupus. You can sign up for email alerts and receive some great information that is endorsed by the Arthritis Foundation.
Today, I have copied and pasted the “Biologic” portion by Donna Rae Siegfried. This was compiled with the Arthritis audience in mind, so I have included some lupus-friendly information in the right place.
BIOLOGICS: (By Donna Rae Siegfried)
[Diva note: Benlysta falls in the biologic category]
What are biologics?
In general, biologics are genetically engineered medication made from a living organism, such as a virus, gene or protein, and then used to treat a problem occurring in a different organism, such as a human. Vaccines are one type of biologic agent. In contrast, other drugs are synthesized chemicals.
What conditions do biologics treat?
Because the biologics block triggers of inflammation, they are used to treat autoimmune forms of arthritis, such as rheumatoid arthritis (RA), juvenile idiopathic arthritis (JIA), ankylosing spondylitis or psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis. Inflammation is the result of the immune system’s errant attack on the body’s tissues, causing joint pain and destruction, as well as other systemic effects, such as fatigue and heart and lung damage. Some biologics approved for rheumatoid arthritis are approved for, or are in development for, other conditions, ranging from Crohn’s disease to cancer.
How are biologics used?
Some biologics are used after a patient has “failed,” or not responded adequately to, traditional disease-modifying anti-rheumatic drugs (DMARDs) or other biologics. When a biologic drug is used for treatment, it is used often in combination with a traditional DMARD, such as methotrexate, for greater effectiveness.
Will biologics cure RA or other conditions?
Unfortunately, no! But the biologics, which work for about two-thirds of people who have rheumatoid arthritis, can induce remission in most people who respond favorably. A clinical remission is defined as fewer than 15 minutes of morning stiffness, and no tender or swollen joints for at least three months. Treating rheumatoid arthritis and other inflammatory forms of arthritis aggressively with DMARDs, including biologics, as soon as possible after diagnosis increases the chance of remission, as well as minimizes the risk of limited function due to permanent joint destruction.
Why can’t two biologics be taken together?
Biologics and other DMARDs decrease inflammation and disease activity by impairing the immune system’s activity. But suppress the immune system too much, and an overwhelming infection could take hold. Limited studies suggest that taking two biologics at the same time would increase the risk of infection markedly, without an increase in therapeutic benefit.
Why are biologics so expensive?
The materials required to create these agents are more expensive, and the manufacturing processes using live organisms are more complex than are required for traditional chemical pharmaceuticals. Other factors include the high cost of research and development.
All of the current biologics are still under patent protection. After a traditional drug patent expires (20 years from the date the company applies for it), other companies can produce generic versions that cost less.
It’s not clear yet how generic biologics – frequently called “follow-on biologics” – will be handled. The unique process of producing copies of biologic agents presents issues of consistency, as well as proof of safety and effectiveness. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) currently has no authority to approve a follow-on biologic for the marketplace, but there are bills in Congress to change this.
Why can’t biologics be taken in pill form?
The biologics currently approved by the FDA must be injected or infused (that is, given intravenously) because they are made up of large protein molecules that cannot be absorbed if taken orally. Seven oral rheumatoid arthritis drugs made from small molecules are now in early stages of development and testing.
Do all biologics work the same way?
Although the goal of biologics is the same – to stop damaging inflammation – they interrupt the complex cascade of cellular events that drive inflammation at different stages. Belimumab (Benlysta) blocks different inflammatory proteins than does the RA-biologics. Belimumab is a human monoclonal antibody that inhibits a protein necessary for the maturation of B-lymphocytes, cells involved in the autoimmune response that underlies lupus. Rituximab (Rituxan), another lupus-biologic hopeful, stops the activation of a certain type of white blood cell called B cells. It was originally approved to treat tumors, then rheumatoid arthritis, and most recently vasculitis. Evidence thus far is mixed regarding its use as a treatment for lupus (and lupus nephritis). Although randomized clinical trials (gold standard of evidence) have not found it to be superior to standard regimens, there are many signs that it may be effective [Appel GB. Clevel Clin J Med 2012– contact me if you would like to see full article]. For both of these biologics, the theory is the same: With fewer B cells, the overactivity of the immune system decreases.
On the horizon: Abatacept (Orenicia), a “co-stimulation” blocker, is undergoing clinical trials in lupus nephritis. Results shuold be available shortly.
Diva note: Overall, biologics are a serious drug, and not for everyone! The decision to take it requires: 1) a balancing act of the risks and benefits AND consideration of all factors (i.e., cost, convenience, risks and overall potential benefit), 2) making sure these medication characteristics are in alignment with your preferences, 3) a good talk with your doctor, and 4) good adherence strategy– remember to do your part as a patient. Doctors can only do so much for us.
Excuse Me- I am Still Standing
I let lupus get the best of me! AGAIN! I hate to admit this but for the past 3 months, I have been in hiding and nothing, not even a huge bottle of CYMBALTA, could get me out of the dumps. I had lost my DIVA-ATTITUDE! You want to know why? Because, Lupus sucks the big ONE. I am so over this disease. Let me share my tale of terror.
FIRST, I had to come to the following as a 30-something-year-old woman: 1) I can no longer live alone and had to move-in with my parents, 2) I can no longer drive… people of Houston were in danger, 3) I can no longer work a full 50-hour work week, and 4) OPIOID DEPENDENT. If that wasn’t pyschologically-ball-busting enough, my body decided to join the fun. In addition to fighting off daily-minute-by-minute pain, brittle bones, and trying to function with a crappy-central nervous system, I come to realize that my kidneys have thrown in the towel and my ovaries felt the need to funk out (aka premature ovary failure. Now my 60-year-old tia and I can bitch about hot flashes together, and I can gain 5lbs by looking at a cupcake). Soon I will be telling tales of the diva with lupus nephritis. Surprisingly, my liver is still holding on by a string. Apparently, all that training of binge drinking and drug use I put it through during my younger years paid off. On top of that, I have been exhausted and fatigued because my lone-leukocyte from my non-existent immune system (thank you, Benlysta) has been fighting infections left and right, including urine, respiratory and folliculitus (infection of the hair follicles– lame).
Of course, I still had to deal with life. And I may have not done such a great job with dealing with it. I had responsibilities like: going to work, submitting a grant, doing maid-of-honor stuff for my friend (the bride-to-be), and still try to maintain my composure. AND people still wanted me to be social and attend birthday dinners and game night?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! What I really wanted to do was: Tell my boss to go to hell, NOT submit the grant that won’t get funded because of some political reason, tell my friend that I could care LESS about her bachelorette weekend and that she could shove her royal-wedding theme bridal shower (her idea) up her small ass, and crawl into bed with two-handfuls of vicodin and Norco. HOW DARE YOU?!?
WHEW! There you have it fans, I just queened out.
All of this was physically and emotionally exhausting- which induces flares. I am confident that everything will be OK. I trust that I am in good hands with Dr. Lupus and I have tremendous support from my family and my close friends. These are the guys that are always there, even when I feel like shit. They get it. So, why am I sharing this story? I do not share my stories for your sympathy or your “I’m sorry”. Because, I am not sorry. I am grateful for this experience. I am realizing more about myself and others through this process. I am actually lucky.. VERY LUCKY. I am grateful to even be breathing and able to type this out to school my fans. 😉
Take your pen and paper out, fans. Because here is your lesson that you will never forget. If you are able to blink and take a breath, you are STILL STANDING.
I tell myself the following phrase everyday:
I have everything within me to conquer the world.
Now, I may do it at a slower pace, but DAMNIT I will do it. It sounds lame, fans, but we can do it. Do not let lupus (or anyone else) bring you down.
The DIVA is back and this is a turning point in my journey and I am looking forward it.
“Beauty is skin deep and I am in a sh!#-load of pain” -The Diva
WARNING: This blog is dedicated to the ladies of lupus (sorry dudes).
While getting my infusion of Benlysta, I came across an article on allwomenstalk.com entitled “7 Great Make-up Tips for Ladies Undergoing Chemo…“. It made me think: “I wonder how many fabulous chicas in lupus pain look at themselves in the mirror and say ‘Geez, what has this disease done to me?!'” Maybe you haven’t because you are uber-fabulous, but I am going to be honest (and it may seem vain)… I have said those exact words. There have been moments when I look at myself in the mirror and do not even recognize myself. I know I am awesome but there are times where I cannot deny that my body image (defined as an attitude towards one’s body, especially appearance) is somewhat low. I blame lupus. I know I was NO MODEL pre-lupus but I have always loved my body and appearance. I had the attitude of “I can rock ______”, even if to others I looked like a damn fool.
Lupus and Poor Body Image: It is OK to Admit it
Lupus is a multi-systemic disease that mostly affect young women, and it is disfiguring. So it is no surprise that it may affect physical and emotional health. There are several reasons as to why lupus affects our body image… it’s because it affects how our body is looking! Are you on steroids (i.e., prednisone)? Go look in the mirror right now… is your face looking like the typical full-moon character that Disney usually draws up? Or, chew on this: Why is it that I am losing hair on my head but growing a mustache?! How about gaining 5 pounds within a 2-day span (how is that even possible when I barely can keep my food down from all the nausea)?!?! Do you jiggle? I DO.
Disease manifestations, disease activity, lupus treatment-related damage, comorbidities (i.e., other disease that tag along with lupus- osteoporosis, arthritis, renal failure, etc), and medications may adversely affect body image. Skin rashes, uneven pigmentation, vitiligo, scars, loss of teeth, alopecia (i.e., hair loss), facial hair, stretch marks, weight gain, fatigue, pain, depression, unpredictability of flares, or lack of independence all contribute poor body image in women suffering from lupus. This also can affect our quality of life. Although the literature on body image in lupus is scant and controversial, a recent article adds more evidence that body image in lupus patients is poor. If you would like a copy of this article, please contact me.
Younger patients and those with cutaneous disease activity or damage, or depression are more likely to have poor body image-related quality of life. The bottom line is that poor body image is a realistic problem that patients with lupus frequently face (i.e., I AM NOT ALONE… neither are you), and this needs to be addressed through focused research on these specific issues. Of course, body image-related quality of life can be dealt with through some effective interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy with a trained therapist (I have one… more to come on that).
How to Not Look Like You are in Miserable Pain
Back to the allwomenstalk.com article that motivated me to pop in two vicodins and type away. Although it addresses the women on chemotherapy (remember methotrexate is a form of chemotherapy), this article gives some tips on how to keep that healthy glow even though you may feel like crap, and some Do’s and Don’ts to make-up. Don’t hate on it just yet… there is some truth to it, and I think the tips can apply to all of us (regardless of the medications we are taking …keep in mind, lupus alone does some silly sh!# to our body).
Although I feel like crap, I have had some people compliment on my skin. I know it is the new skin regimen I adopted once I started to loss my hair. When I was bald, my face was my new money maker. Yes, my hair is back but I have not abandoned the skin routine. This is what I do (in addition to the cardinal rule of keeping your face clean), it isn’t much but I hope it helps:
1. INVEST IN A MOISTURIZER. My skin started to feel dry once I started taking medications and I looked like I aged soooo fast! I know I am 30, but just because I have lupus I do not need to look like I am 55. I do not use a very heavy moisturizer because I did not want to induce a bigger acne breakout. Not only was my skin super dry, but there are days where my skin was an oily mess, a la puberty-years. There is no reasoning to it. So, I opt to use a gel-cream from Garnier “Moisture Rescue- Refreshing Gel Cream”. For the really dry days, I use Philosophy “Take a Deep Breath”. This gel-cream is oil-free AND it helps calm those morning red-blotches.
2. JOIN THE BB CREAM TREND. IT IS WORTH IT! BB creams are suddenly everywhere… and there is a reason. BB stands for “Beauty Balm” or “Blemish Balm” depending on the formula, and they’re basically tinted moisturizers with skin care ingredients and SPF built in. The last thing you want to do to disguise the fact that you are feeling like caca is to pile on a bunch of make-up… then you start looking like a woman who looks flu-ridden and should be working a pole. The major plus of a BB cream is that in one bottle you have just the right amount of coverage, moisturizer AND sunscreen. We all know how important sunscreen is to us!! Basically, a BB cream is a tinted moisturizer with a little kick and extra benefits. The tinted moisturizer helps even-out my skin tone, even during those random occasions when the redness and uneven pigmentation conquers my face. My first BB cream was from Garnier, because it was $12.99 and I wanted to see what the big hype was about. Once I joined the bandwagon, I went to Sephora and bought Smashbox’s BB cream. Smashbox is best known for its primers. Their version is fragrance-free (unlike most of the others), so it’s ideal if you’re allergic or sensitive to fragrances. It feels fantastic going on and looks great even at the end of a long, hot Houston day. I can be sweaty but still have a fresh face.
3. BRONZER/BLUSH the Color Back in. This is probably common sense. The use of bronzer will add some glow and life back to your pale skin. A light-hand will give just the right touch of sun-kiss that is needed.
Fans, please don’t forget that despite the weight-gain, hair-loss, and other-body altering stuff that lupus does to us, we will always be fabulous. Why? Because we are strong enough to go through and SURPASS something that the majority cannot even imagine. And we do it with a smile.
Methotrexate, developed to fight cancer, is known as the “gold standard” — the best drug — for the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis. It has also been shown to be very effective in treating skin lesions, arthritis, and pleuritis in people with lupus. Belimumab (Benlysta) is used with other medications to treat people with certain types of systemic lupus erythematosus. Belimumab is in a class of medications called monoclonal antibodies. It works by blocking the activity of a certain protein in people with SLE.
Again, I awake on a Sunday morning thinking:
1) What day is it?
2) How long was I asleep? and
3) What did I do on Saturday?
As I had mentioned before in a prior post, infusions of Benlysta alone was not enough to control the monster that is lupus. This is common, as many patients are taking Benlysta in combination of some other lupus-regimen. For these patients, including myself, lupus seems to be too aggressive for just one treatment (i.e., monotherapy). For my case, Dr. Lupus put me back on the weekly, injectable methotrexate regimen in combination of the monthly Benlysta infusions (i.e., dual therapy). After several weeks of no improvement, my methotrexate dose was increased. The results? It is too soon to tell, as improvements usually are first seen in 3-6 weeks. The full benefit of this drug may not be seen until after 12 weeks of treatment.
Although I may not (yet) be able to notice the benefit, I have noticed some of the lovely side effects that come with methotrexate: 1) nausea, 2) slight hair-loss, and 3) FATIGUE. A little nausea is expected with methotrexate, but there are some actions that can be taken to reduce this. First, if the stomach issues are really bothersome, switching from pill- to injectable-dose can reduce these issues. I originally was prescribed the pill-form of methotrexate but suffered with crazy nausea and vomiting. Plus, my appetite decreased with the pill-form (side-note: not a great thing! I am a lady who loves to eat!). Once these concerns were expressed to Dr. Lupus, I was handed a syringe and bottle (along with some lessons on how to poke myself properly).
What about the hair-loss?Well, it isn’t too bad. I should mention that losing a couple of strands is not bad in comparison to once being bald. I do have to practice the art of “cover-up” as part of my morning routine. Due to the crazy Houston heat and humidity, I have ditched the wigs. My options have been 1) tying a scarf, 2) applying the fabulous and dependable Joan Rivers Beauty Great Hair Day fill-in powder (brush included when purchased), or 3) Kamo hair fibers (literally small hair fibers that camouflage for full-looking hair). Different from lupus-induced hair loss, hair loss from methotrexate use does come back. Just give it some time.
Fatigue is the number one side effect of Methotrexate.
FATIGUE— what provoked me to write today. I take my weekly shots of methotrexate on Friday evenings. Its amazing how my body knows it is time for the weekly injection, because I am hurting Friday mornings and throughout the day. Like a druggie, all I can think of is getting home to shoot myself up with this poison (really- the color of this liquid is Mountain Dew yellow…). A couple of hours after my injection, I am exhausted and fall into my bed. I only emerge from my cave of a bedroom until the following Sunday. That’s right- all of Saturday is GONE! Yes, I am a tad frustrated– only because I am still a single-thirty-year-old who wants to have fun, especially on a Saturday. My weekend routine has become a huge lonely sleep-fest with the occasional web-browsing to have some connection to the outside world. And, of course on Sunday, I check on Facebook and Twitter to see what kind of dumb trouble my friends got into– and I do judge them ;).
THE DIFFICULT MATH EQUATION OF LIVING WITH LUPUS (or any chronic disease that requires treatment): We all know that pill we swallow, that injection we take in, or that liquid that we watch dripped and infused into our body via IV has a risk-of-something. Those risks, severe or not, have to be balanced by US, the patient, with the potential benefits. So, when do we say NO MORE to the drug that is potentially there to help us? Well, that is on an individual basis. We each have our own preference and we each need to voice that preference. We, as patients, need to know the answer to the difficult math equation:
When do the drug risks and side effects outweigh the benefit of treatment and our quality of life?
Remember, to include those other factors that may weigh your decision- costs, convenience, nuisance… etc. These factors will differ for every person. Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to everyone’s equation… I am just barely figuring out mine. For instance, the equation I face is the following: How do I balance pain-relief to quality of life? In other words, is the potential pain-relief worth me losing a Saturday? I will know the answers once I start seeing the benefits… but for now I don’t mind getting to spend one-day in bed while my body is getting its fix. And to be quite honest, I feel better on this Sunday.
Many of us were offered a hit. While some may have said “No thanks. I have fill in blank for excuse,” some of us tried it and coughed up a lung. As the others laughed at the consequence of your first puff, you hold in the smoke, inspect the object within your fingers, and either shake your head in disgust or nod your head with a grin. After that first time, a few of us (who grinned) returned to claim a cushion of an old sofa (or an old futon or floor space or fold-out chair on the balcony) and performed the classic ritual of puff-puff-and-pass while watching Cheech and Chong’s “Up in Smoke” or an episode of Family Guy. If you are chuckling at this very moment, then one of two things can be assumed, 1) I am f*#cking hilarious or 2) you were (are??) a stoner.
So, other than joining all the other bloggers’ attempt to get some attention on April 20, why do I dedicate a post to this?
Fellow lupus warriors, do you remember that first time when you described your intense pain to an outsider? Unless that person was made out of coal, he/she empathized with you, and immediately tried to help you find a solution. Remember those first couple of suggestions?
“Have you ever… um… tried smoking weed to deal with the pain? [sometimes followed with] I know a guy…”
We have all been asked. We have all researched it. We have all considered it. Many websites are dedicated with the use of marijuana and lupus. What does the medical research say? Using my research skills for some good, I performed a medical literature search on the topic– using the search terms “cannabis” and “lupus”– one article from 1998 comes up. A result of 148 articles come up when I broaden my search (using the terms “cannabis” and “chronic pain”). In summary: The analgesic effects of smoking weed remain controversial. That really doesn’t stop anyone, a (under)reported 10-15% of patients with non-cancer pain still light up a doobie (Ware MA, Doyle CR, Woods R, et al. Pain 2003).
Why Mary Jane to Treat the Pain?: The first record of cannabis as a medicine can be found in the oldest Chinese pharmacopeia, written in AD 25 to AD 220, which was indicated for rheumatic pain, malaria, constipation, and disorders of the female reproductive system (Touw M. J Psychoactive Drugs 1981). Without going through all the pharmacological mechanism on the nervous system, let me just say there is a biological plausibility for smoking to reduce pain.
Does it Work?: Based on personal experience, HELL YES IT DOES. But it is no miracle drug, just like all good things in life (i.e., vicodin), the effects do not last long nor are they powerful. Smoking dulls the pain and puts me at ease. Also, smoking helped solve my appetite-loss and nausea associated with beginning uses of methotrexate.
When Do I Light Up?: Not everyday. I am not going to lie, when I first got my hands on marijuana, I would light up every night. Sounds fun, eh? EXCEPT I started to realize that the effects were faaaaaaading away fast. In other words, the potency of smoking weakened with every light. Similar to other painkillers, I became use to its effects and more was needed to dull the pain. Also, lighting up everyday did not work well with my lupus CNS. Marijuana can cause multiple psychmotor symptoms, including impairment of cognition and memory. I already experience foggy-moments, shakes, memory loss and etc… I certainly did not want to intensify these symptoms! Currently, I save my joints for those special occasions. You know- those days when you are at the point of tears from the pain and frustrated with the situation. On those special days, I hobble to the balcony and “take a breath.”
Why the Doctors Are Not Handing You a Joint with Your Painkiller Prescription: Weed/cannabis/mary jane/pot is recognized as a substance with a high potential for dependence, which occurs in 1 out of 10 people of anyone who takes a puff. It can lead to behaviors of preoccupation, compulsion, reinforcement, and withdrawal after chronic use (Dragt S et al. Can J Psychiatry 2010). Smoking can also cause some other bad things to happen to users, especially the first-comers. So, it just comes down to balancing the risks and benefits. The potential risks are known and the benefits are not that great to trump the risks (boooooo!!!).
You thinking about it? I believe we should try anything once, how else will we know if we like it or if it even works. USE CAUTION! Tell your doctor that you are using. There is no shame in being open about it when using for pain treatment. Get your dose from someone dependable— NOT from your friend’s, friend’s sister’s ex-boyfriend’s roommate. As with any new treatment, use your common sense and don’t be dumb.
Enjoy 420. Light up, take it easy and zone-out, lupus warriors. I leave you with three of my favorite smoking songs:
If I didn’t need the drugs so badly, I would sale them to you.
As I was popping my pills freely, including my beloved vicodin, among dudes, one asked the common question with a sly smile: “Can I have a vicodin? I will pay anything.” I looked at my white oval pill with such love and desire. I thought to myself, “I could spare one and make a couple of bucks.” But then, I thought of the moral implications- ‘Tis wrong for thee to share prescriptions amongst comrades’– plus, it is apparently illegal (minor detail). I looked at the dude, who was desperately still trying to hold onto his early twenties (and deny his thirties) by wearing a backwards cap, and said with a polite smile, “Fudge No!!!” (Ps I don’t say fudge…). It is then I realize that the Houston’s streets would be safe from my medicine cabinet. Lupus patients would never become drug dealers… we almost enjoy the drugs (i.e. powerful painkillers) too much…. and we can’t live without them!
Enjoy your prescribed painkiller… maybe sprinkle it over ice cream, cupcakes, be creative. Enjoy that moment of haze, forget why you are even taking it and smile.
Posted from the Diva on the road