BITCH STOLE MY LOOK

As I have mentioned before, I lost my hair due to lupus and its treatments  starting in 2010 (click here for details). Many women experience hair-loss at differing degrees because of lupus. For about two years, I rocked my bald head around Houston (with the occasional cover-up on the cooler days or when having a fancy meal).

Rocking this look comes with some great perks… and some lows. The obvious perks include: 1) easy hair management (you shower and GO!), 2) showing off your beautiful face, and 3) showing the world that you have more self-confidence in your pinky-toe than any other long-haired woman around you. The obvious lows…. well… 1) being constantly looked at (which I didn’t mind), 2) being the topic of whispered conversations (“I wonder why she is bald…” etc), and 3) having to deal with ridiculous ignorance and stupidity (seriously, once a jackass came up to me and said: “Are you lesbian?… you have no hair so that means you are a lesbian. You shouldn’t be here.” Let’s just say he walked into my fist, and then walked out with a bloody nose. Somehow, I got banned from the drinking establishment…).

Diva note: Do not allow these lows (especially brought on by other people’s insecurities and ignorance) to bring you down. It is not worth your time or your emotions!

During my time of baldness I followed the words of my hair stylist (if you are in the Houston-area, check out these ladies at A House of Designersdiva-approved) and from my best male friend (who else would know about scalp therapy than a man with a great set of hair–check out thementoringsession): TAKE CARE OF YOUR SCALP!

Sidenote: I tried the steroid injections into the scalp by my dermatologist (a total of 13 into the scalp in one sitting). But after 5 sessions, I was not seeing any results!

I became an advocate of taking care of my scalp. I invested in great shampoos and condition (check out Nioxin products). Monthly, I visited my hairstylist for a buzz-check and for a treatment of Nioxin Scalp Renew Dermabrasion Treatment. This treatment is like a facial for the scalp, can only be done in the salons, and recommended for use every 30-45 days. I recommend also checking out Nioxin Diamax, a leave-on treatment that can be used with the Nioxin 3-part systems for thicker, denser-looking hair.

Nioxin, known for products for thinning hair, has taken the science of skincare and applied it to a new at-home hair-thickening treatment, DiaMax. The intensely hydrating formula—which contains niacinamide and panthenol, ingredients also found in some of the best skin-saving creams–directly infuses each strand with healing, strengthening, and protective properties for plumped-up, thicker locks (nioxin.com; $50). [credits: Christina Han; W Magazine]

By the beginning of 2012, I have noticed my hair was growing back AND thicker! This is great news even if I still have a bald spot in the back of my head (about the size of a fist). My hair still tends to abandon ship when I am going through a flare. I talk about how to cover these “character” spots in a past post: Methotrexate + Benlysta= ?? On the real, I certainly do miss my no-fuss-hair-less morning routine!

January 2012 with a dear friend. My hair was growing back blonde!

After loosing your hair, you come to realize that you are more courageous in choosing hair styles– because if you don’t like it, you know you can always shave it off and still look fabulous! I was rocking my own personal style with hair– half head shaved while growing out the other side. I loved my ‘do and was certainly the only-one rocking it in the City of Houston (…where the long-haired blondes and brunettes roam…).

April 2012

While watching E! Fashion Police (a diva-obsession), my auntie Joan Rivers was making a comment about Miley Cyrus’ new do. I couldn’t believe my eyes- that BITCH STOLE MY LOOK!

September 2012

Damn the man! <Slapping Hand on Forehead> NOW, in addition to receiving the usual “I love your hair” comment, a statement of “It looks like Miley Cyrus” follows!  

Which brings me to my quote of the day:

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery! 😉

Stay Fabulous!

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Lupus Treatments: Trial and Error… and Patience

As we all know, there is no one treatment ([n]or cure) for lupus. How many times have you been asked, “So, there is no cure for that?”. OR how about that frustrated question from your love one as you are unable to move out of bed, “Aren’t you suppose to be getting better by now?”  HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT?!? We have all been playing the worst waiting game… Waiting for the right treatment to make us feel an ounce better; Waiting for our quality of life to get back to how it used to be; Waiting to start living our life again.

…Just waiting…

Lupus requires a trial and error of finding the right medication(s) to help you get to that magical state of “remission”… or at least to a state where you do not feel limited. Yesterday, I had my 11th infusion of Benlysta (I will be hitting the one-year mark in December). In addition to my infusion, I had my monthly visit with Dr. Lupus. While I was waiting for him, I was flipping through his collections of throw-away magazines in the room. I grabbed one and stumbled onto a full-spread advertisement for Benlysta. It featured a happy-looking woman enjoying some social time with family and friends with the phrase: “I am fighting lupus with Benlysta.” I chuckled to myself and threw the magazine (in a passive aggressive manner) back onto the pile. I have been on this magical Benlysta for almost a year… and yet I am still waiting for a better outcome. Yes, I have felt better from 2 years ago… but I have had more than my share of lupus flares and hospital visits. Feeling my frustrations, my doctor agreed that  Benlysta-alone was not doing the trick— I have had 2 lupus-related hospital visits in the month of September, become a pill-popper to minimize the pain, and was sitting in front of the man with a temperature of 99.4 degrees. My doctor and I came to a shared decision to a new combination of Benlysta, prednisone and Imuran (azathioprine). This new combo will be sixth attempt to find lupus-relief.

Here is my lupus medication history.

MY TRIAL AND ERROR

Trial #1: Plaquenil (hydroxychloroquine) + Prednisone (duration ~8 months): It takes about 6 months for the effects of this anti-malaria to kick in. Before I can even get this pill in my hands, I had to get an approval from an opthamologist . Why? Because there is small risk (no more than 4% in unmonitored patients) of blindness. Pretty severe adverse effect, eh?

Error: Major muscle weakness. I found myself saying to my doctors, “I feel like my body is too heavy for my legs”.

Trial #2: Methotrexate + Prednisone (duration: ~4 months): I first started by taking the pill-form but had to switch to the injections to alleviate nausea often associated by ingesting the pills.

Error: Respiratory problems, an adverse effect of methotrexate. Saravanan and Kelly (Rheumatology 2006) stated: “As patients become less limited by their joint disease due to treatment, an increasing number report breathlessness as a result of respiratory involvement.” Keep in mind, fans, that I have asthma; so this put me at higher risk.

Trial #3: Benlysta + Prednisone (duration: ~2 months): I have previously talked about my journey with Benlysta. Go ahead… take a look at the past posts.

Error: It was not doing the trick.

Trial #4: Benlysta + Methotrexate + Prednisone (duration: ~3 months): I have talked about this as well. Go ahead… take a look. 🙂

Error: Overall, feeling of still-feeling-shitty and the respiratory problems. I felt like I had the flu. After this, it became very clear that methotrexate was not for me. Oddly enough, after I was taken off of methotrexate, I ended up in the hospital for heart and asthma problems. My pulmonologist explained that methotrexate was giving me some protective factor against asthma, and once I had given it up my air sacs decided to act up!

Trial #5: Back to Benlysta + Prednisone

Error: Still feeling shitty

Trial #6: Benlysta + Prednisone + Imuran

Before taking Imuran, your doc will run a genetic test. This is to determine if Imuran is the right drug for you. Certain risks that are associated with this drug are greater in those who have a specific genetic disorder. Your doctor will perform genetic testing prior to starting therapy to determine your risk.

I will keep you posted on my treatment journey… I am crossing my fingers that I will soon finish this damn “trial and error” phase of lupus.

For more info on lupus treatments, check out these two links from:

Lupus Foundation of America

Mayo Clinic

Stay Fabulous!

Diva-Worthy Song of the Day No. 4

Excuse Me- I am Still Standing

I let lupus get the best of me! AGAIN! I hate to admit this but for the past 3 months, I have been in hiding and nothing, not even a huge bottle of CYMBALTA, could get me out of the dumps. I had lost my DIVA-ATTITUDE! You want to know why? Because, Lupus sucks the big ONE. I am so over this disease. Let me share my tale of terror.

FIRST, I had to come to the following as a 30-something-year-old woman: 1) I can no longer live alone and had to move-in with my parents, 2) I can no longer drive… people of Houston were in danger, 3) I can no longer work a full 50-hour work week, and 4) OPIOID DEPENDENT. If that wasn’t pyschologically-ball-busting enough, my body decided to join the fun. In addition to fighting off daily-minute-by-minute pain, brittle bones, and trying to function with a crappy-central nervous system, I come to realize that my kidneys have thrown in the towel and my ovaries felt the need to funk out (aka premature ovary failure. Now my 60-year-old tia and I can bitch about hot flashes together, and I can gain 5lbs by looking at a cupcake). Soon I will be telling tales of the diva with lupus nephritis. Surprisingly, my liver is still holding on by a string. Apparently, all that training of binge drinking and drug use I put it through during my younger years paid off. On top of that, I have been exhausted and fatigued because my lone-leukocyte from my non-existent immune system (thank you, Benlysta) has been fighting infections left and right, including urine, respiratory and folliculitus (infection of the hair follicles– lame).

Of course, I still had to deal with life. And I may have not done such a great job with dealing with it. I had responsibilities like: going to work, submitting a grant, doing maid-of-honor stuff for my friend (the bride-to-be), and still try to maintain my composure. AND people still wanted me to be social and attend birthday dinners and game night?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! What I really wanted to do was: Tell my boss to go to hell, NOT submit the grant that won’t get funded because of some political reason, tell my friend that I could care LESS about her bachelorette weekend and that she could shove her royal-wedding theme bridal shower (her idea) up her small ass, and crawl into bed with two-handfuls of vicodin and Norco. HOW DARE YOU?!?

WHEW! There you have it fans, I just queened out.

All of this was physically and emotionally exhausting- which induces flares. I am confident that everything will be OK. I trust that I am in good hands with Dr. Lupus and I have tremendous support from my family and my close friends. These are the guys that are always there, even when I feel like shit. They get it. So, why am I sharing this story? I do not share my stories for your sympathy or your “I’m sorry”. Because, I am not sorry. I am grateful for this experience. I am realizing more about myself and others through this process. I am actually lucky.. VERY LUCKY. I am grateful to even be breathing and able to type this out to school my fans. 😉

Take your pen and paper out, fans. Because here is your lesson that you will never forget. If you are able to blink and take a breath, you are STILL STANDING.

I tell myself the following phrase everyday:

I have everything within me to conquer the world.

Now, I may do it at a slower pace, but DAMNIT I will do it. It sounds lame, fans, but we can do it. Do not let lupus (or anyone else) bring you down.

The DIVA is back and this is a turning point in my journey and I am looking forward it.

Stay Fabulous